I used to work at a movie theater so the irony of how some of these titles are posted wasn’t lost on me! So enjoy these hilarious marquees and laugh out loud! If you happen to see any funny things like this please be sure to send them in!

No need to go on Maury now!

Imagine finding this clue in the first 48? Arrest made, cops at donut shop!

Oh boy don’t we wish!

Well we didn’t think it was possible, but Harry you sure should go on Maury and make sure it’s yours.

WOW!

This is why we don’t hear about him often.

Ummmm… What was that???

Indecisive much?

We certainly hope that you enjoyed. Let us know below! Don’t forget to follow us on Twitter @FastLaneMag

They say that truth is relative, but is it racially biased? Well after the jump we explore racially biased truths and you will be able to decide for yourselves!

10 Truths Black And Hispanic People Know, But White People Won€™t Admit:

1. Elvis is dead.
2. Jesus was not White.
3. Rap music is here to stay
4. Kissing your pet is not cute or clean.
5. Skinny does not equal sexy.
6. Thomas Jefferson had black children.
7. A 5 year child is too big for a stroller.
8. N€™ SYNC will never hold a candle to the Jackson 5
9. An occasional BUTT whooping helps a child stay in line.
10. Having your children curse you out in public is not normal.

10 Truths White And Black People Know, But Hispanic People Won€™t Admit:

1. Hickey€™s are not attractive.
2. Chicken is food, not a roommate.
3. Jesus is not a name for your son.
4. Your country€™s flag is not a car decoration.
5. Maria is a name but not for every other daughter.
6. €œJump out and run€ is not in any insurance policies.
7. 10 people to a car is considered too many.!
8. Buttoning just the top button of your shirt is a bad fashion statement.
9. Mami and Papi can€™t possibly be the nickname of every person in your family
10.Letting your children run wildly through the store is not normal.

10 Truths White And Hispanic People Know, But Black People Won€™t Admit:

1. O. J. did it.
2. Tupac is dead.
3. Teeth should not be decorated.
4. Weddings should start on time.
5. Your pastor doesn€™t know everything.
6. Jesse Jackson will never be President.
7. RED is not a kool-aid flavor, it€™s a color.
8. Church does not require expensive clothes.
9. Crown Royal bags are meant to be thrown away.
10.Your rims and sound system should not be worth more than your car

Let us know your thoughts. We’d love to hear from you! Leave us a comment below! You can also follow us on Twitter @FastLaneMag

We all know that kids say the darndest things. But what happens when parents get a hold of  cell phones and are given free reign to text away? Well the new book Crazy Things Parents Text based on the website of the same name answers that.

Parents say the darndest things when they are talking with their thumbs (or with their index finger one€¦letter€¦at€¦a€¦time). Crazy Things Parents Text (ISBN: 9781402266256; September 2011; $10.99 U.S. / £6.99 UK; Humor; Trade Paper), by brothers Stephen and Wayne Miltz, creators of the hilarious Web sensation CrazyThingsParentsText.com, features the best, all-new, user-submitted texts from the website, including what we’ve posted after the jump.

Me: So my friends decided that I€™m going to be called Jwoww from now on.

Mom: Oh, I don€™t know her. I only know Snootchie and the Scenario.

From Dad: Let€™s do some math! Harry Potter > Voldemort. Voldemort > Cedric Diggory. Cedric Diggory = Edward Cullen. Therefore, Harry Potter > Edward Cullen.

Dad: You know I€™m an equal opportunity hater

Me: I know, but you love me

Dad: Your mother says I have to

Me: What time are you picking me up?

Dad: Who is this?

Me: Your son.

Dad: How did you get this number?

Me: I programmed your phone, remember?

Dad: How do I delete people?

Me: You owe me $350 for the ipad.

Dad: Ok. You owe me hundreds of thousands for your entire life. 

Even more hilarious parent texts€¦

Mom: R u home yet? Need U 2 GTD

Me: Mom, what the hell does GTD mean?

Mom: GET THE DISHWASHER

Me:€¦oh okay. You know, you can€™t just go around making your own acronyms.

From Dad: If the cops are flashing their lights at you, they just want to see how fast you can really drive. Impress them.

Me: I was offered a job!

Dad: Accept it before they discover their mistake.

Me: Please please please PLEASE don€™t make me go on that fishing trip. I promise I€™ll clean the house, I won€™t talk back, and I€™ll be a good child for the rest of my life.

Dad: ><\\\o>. ><\\\o>. ><\\\o>. ><\\\o>. ><\\\o>. 5 fisheez 4 u

Me: Jokes on you I keep submitting ur texts to €œcrazy things parents text€

Dad: I write your phone number on bathroom walls

Mom: Your father is driving me crazy when are you coming home!!!

Me: I€™m out with friends so not till late sorry!!

Mom: Its ok I put Ambien in his tea€¦ he wont be annoying me much longer.

We found these hilarious and think that the book is a great read as well. So don’t miss out! Let us know which ones you find funniest by leaving a comment below! Or on Twitter @FastLaneMag

When southern Florida resident Nathan Radlich’s house was burglarized recently, thieves ignored his wide screen plasma TV, his VCR, and even left his Rolex watch. What they did take, however, was a “generic white cardboard box filled with a grayish-white powder.” (That’s the way the police report described it.)
A spokesman for the Fort Lauderdale police said, that “it looked similar to high grade cocaine and they’d probably thought they’d hit the big time.”
Later, Nathan stood in front of numerous TV cameras and pleaded with the burglars: “Please return the cremated remains of my sister, Gertrude. She died three years ago.”ÀšÃ‚ 

The next morning, the bullet-riddled corpse of a local drug dealer known as Hoochie Pevens was found on Nathan’s doorstep. The cardboard box was there too; about half of Gertrude’s ashes remained. Taped to the box was this note which said: “Hoochie sold us the bogus blow, so we wasted Hoochie. Sorry we snorted your sister. No hard feelings.

Have a nice day.” And you thought California was the land of fruits and nuts!

We want to hear your thoughts on this unbelievable situation! Let us know what you think by leaving a comment below! Or talk to us on Twitter @FastLaneMag